


Sk8ing boiz r the best boiz

by ICherryPop



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Crack Fic, M/M, Memes, chatroom, groupchat, idk honestly, will add more tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-19 11:09:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9437441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ICherryPop/pseuds/ICherryPop
Summary: *hamster-trash created S8ing boiz r the best boiz*hamster-trash: ayyyyy boiz





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> boi  
> Let's get started with this thing  
> They are: Yuuri: hot-katsudon  
> Viktor: i-eat-katsudon-every-night  
> Yurio: yuri-p  
> Guang: sinammonroll  
> Leo: leodelachurch  
> Chris:icesexual  
> Otabek: otabek  
> JJ: xXKingJJXx
> 
> (They may change)
> 
> Also sorry if I have some basic grammatic errors, english is not my first language :v
> 
> Updates may be weekly (don't count on it ;D)

**_*hamster-trash created the groupchat: sk8ing boiz r the best boiz*_ **

_***hamster-trash added hot-katsudon , i-eat-katsudon-every-night, yuri-p, sinammonroll, leodelachurch, otabek, xXKing-JJXx, icesexual** _ _*_

 **hamster-trash:** ayyyy my boiz

 **sinammonroll:** i'm 12 n what is this

 **hot-katsudon:** phichit no

 **hamster-trash:** phichit yes

 **xXKing-JJXx:** who r u people, r u my fans? ;)))

 **yuri-p:** hell to ...

 **otabek:** theno

 **leodelachurch:** #relationshipgoals

 **yuri-p:** NO WTF

 **otabek: *** friendship

 **sinammonroll:** #friendzoned

 **hamster-trash:** #rekt

_***yuri-p left the chat*** _

******i-eat-katsudon-every-night****** **:** WHAT DID U DO TO MY SON?!

 **xXKingJJXx:** who is that???

 **hot-katsudon:** that's

 **hot-katsudon:** that's viktor...

 **sinammonroll:** I'M dEAd bye

 _*_ _**hamster-trash added Yuri-P*** _

**xXKingJJx:** but y does he eat katsudon every night??? I don't get it...

 **Yuri-P:** 1\. Why am I back to this shit?  
2\. Are you fucking stupid?

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-night****** **:** WATCH YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SON

 **Yuri-P:** DON'T CALL ME SON

 **leodelachurch:** This war is hard enough Without infighting~

 **hamster-trash:** Lee called you out  
We called his bluff~ 

 **leodelachurch:** Ayyyyy you are hamilton trash too my boi

 **hamster-trash:** of course, i'm trash for everything

 **xXKingJJXx:** still don't get it...

 **hot-katsudon:**...

 **hot-katsudon:** that is good

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-night****** :well JJ, you know me and Yuuri are engaged?

 **xXKingJJXx:** yeah, and?

 **Yuri-P:** oh for fuck sakes, katsudon is Yuuri

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-night****** :YURIO FUCKING LANGUAGE

 **hot-katsudon:** DON'T TEACH OUR SON BAD WORDS VIKTOR

 **Yuri-P** : I'M NOTCHA SON AND DON'T START WITH THE HAMILTON SHIT

 **hamster-trash:** aww :(

 **leodelachurch:**...

 **leodelachurch:** WATCH YOUR TONE I AM NOT A MAIDEN IN NEED OF DEFENDING I AM GROWN 

 _*_ **_Yuri-P eliminated leodelachurch*_ **

**sinammonroll:** EY BRING MY BBY BACK >:(

 **sinammonroll:** #NOTHOMO

 **icesexual:** dat's fucking gay m8

 **otabek:** says the one named icesexual...

 **hamster-trash:** OHHHHHHH GET REKT SON

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-night****** :i'm proud of my son-in-law

 **hot-katsudon:** same

 **Yuri-P:** I'M FUCKING DONE WITH THIS FAMILY

 **Yuri-P:** GROUP CHAT GROUP CHAT GROUP CHAT*********

 **xXKingJJXx:** awww, he said it. He admitted yuuri and viktor are his family how cute YURA :)

 **Yuri-P:** I'M GOING TO KILL YOU YOU MOTHERFUCKER, AND DON'T CALL ME THAT

 **xXKingJJXx:** why? Only otabek can call you like that? :)))

 **otabek:** ***** thumbs up*

 **hamster-trash:** sCREEnshOT

**_*Yuri-P left the chat*_ **

**hot-katsudon:** leave my child alone pls, puberty is hard you know

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** **:** yeah, he is mad because his voice is changing

 **otabek:** Mr. Nikiforov that is not true, you know your son is an agsty teen. Let him be.

 **hot-katsudon:** please marry our child, you are perfect

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** **:** yeah pls, I promise i will be the dankest father-in-law ever

 **otabek:** I will think about it.

 **sinammonroll:** I'M WHEEZING

 **hamster-trash:** same

 **icesexual:** that is fucking gay m8 x2. and I'm a slut for gay stuff y'know

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** **:** chris plz, you are a slut for everything

 **icesexual:** rude but true

**_*sinammonroll added leodelachurch*_ **

**leodelachurch:** thnx bae <3 (no homo)

 **sinammonroll:** u r welcome bae <3 (no homo)

 **hamster-trash:** just fuck already

 **leodelachurch:** i'm trying...

 **icesexual:** that is fucking gay m8 x 3

 **icesexual:** but smooth af, nice leo

 **hamster-trash:** sCREEEEEENshOT

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** **:** ok but JJ did you understand?

 **xXKingJJXx:** tbh... no

 **hot-katsudon:** let's just leave it like this, ok?

 **icesexual:** he means that he eats Yuuri's ass everynight, and they fuck.

 **hot-katsudon:** CHRIS

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** **:** thanks Chris, you knew exactly how to explain it

 **hot-katsudon:** VIKTOR OMG

 **xXKingJJXx:** oh... that is great, i'm glad for u boiz, remember, always use protection ;)

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** **:** of course, yuuri likes when i use gold ones :D

 **hamster-trash:** wow, that's kinky

 **sinammonroll:** yup, I thought Yuuri was inoccent af

 **leodelachurch:** same

 **hot-katsudon:** ok I'M SO FUCKING DONE, I'M LEAVING U VIKTOR, WITH YURIO AND MAKKACHIN

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** **:** nonononono i'm so sorry my sweetheart beautiful amazing and wonderful Yuuri <3  
Don't leave me

 **hot-katsudon:** no fuck u bye

**_*hot-katsudon left the chat*_ **

**hamster-trash:** you fucked up m8

 **otabek:** yup.

 **leodelachurch:** did i just watch someone die????

 **sinammonroll:** can't believe viktuuri just died

 **xXKingJJXx:** rest in fucking pieces

 **icsexual:** I think viktor died, he is not talking...

 **hamster-trash:** VIKTOR MOTHERFUCKING NIKIFOROV ARE U ALIVE?!

 ** ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-night******** NO I'M NOT OMG

 **sinammonroll:** what happened??? Lol

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** **:** HE'S SUPER MAD I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

 **icesexual:** just seduce him and fuck him, that should do

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** **:** IT'S NOT THE TIME FOR THAT CHRIS

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** **:** OMG I JUST HEARD THE DOOR SLAM

 **leodelachurch:** this is fucking serious omg.

 **otabek:** viktor, you are dead.

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** **:** I KNOW I AM

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** **:** HOLY SHIT HE IS ACTUALLY GOING AWAY. HE'S DRIVING MY CAR AND I CAN SEE MAKKACHIN WITH HIM  OH NO

 **hamster-trash:** the hot pink one?

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** **:** YEAH BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTERS  
BITCH MY FIANCE IS LEAVING ME

**_*xXKingJJXx added Yuri-P*_ **

**Yuri-P:** WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!

 **xXKingJJXx** : Yuuri left Viktor

 **Yuri-P:** wtf, why are you lying fucker?

 **otabek:** Yura it's true.

 **Yuri-P:** wtf, why?!

 **iceskating:** we were kinkshaming him, and Viktor did that too

 **Yuri-P:** you fucked up really bad old man

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** **:** I KNOW I'M FUCKING CRYING, YURIO HOW DO I BRING YOUR MOTHER BACK?!

 **Yuri-P:** 1\. He's not my mom 2. I don't fucking know, you fucked up, not my problem.

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** **:** WAIT, YURIO WHERE ARE YOU?!

 **Yuri-P:** I'm on the ice rink, why?

 **Yuri-P:** wtf, katsudon is here and he's with your car and makkachin??? WTF

 **hamster-trash:** HOLY SHIT I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS I'M LAUGHING SO HARD

 **sinammonroll:** SAME

 **xXKingJJXx:** Guys this is serious

(At the same time)

 **Otabek:** Guys this is serious

 **Yuri-P:** SHUT THE FUCK UP FUCKER

 **Yuri-P:** BEKA THAT'S TRUE

 **leodelachurch:** I love how he is so nice with his boyfriend

 **sinammonroll** : that is so cute

 **Yuri-P:** HE'S NOT MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND SHUT YOUR MOUTH

 **otabek:** I don't care.

 **Yuri-P:** Bro...

 **ic** **esexual:** i feel the sexual tension...

 **Yuri-P:** WTF I'M 15

 **icesexual** : really? Sorry my bad

 **icesexual:** I can still feel it tho, probably Leo and Guang Hong

 **sinammonroll:** wat

 **leodelachurch:** dude stop pls

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** : [imdead.png](https://ifunny.co/fun/Nmy8S5sW4)

 **hamster-trash:** so sad

 **xXKingJJXx:** did you just edit the Does Bruno Mars is gay stuff?

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** :stfu

 **Yuri-P:** what a fucking loser

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** **:** RESPECT YOUR DAD U LITTLE SHIT

**_*Yuri-P added hot-katsudon*_ **

**Yuri-P** : _[(22/01/17 12:32 PM) i-eat-katsudon-every-night: RESPECT YOUR DAD U LITTLE SHIT]_

 **Yuri-P:** Katsudon the old man told me that

 **hot-katsudon:** HOW DARE YOU TO CALL OUR SON LIKE THAT?!

 ** ** **i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh****** ** **t**** **:** NO BABY PLS LET ME EXPLAIN

 **hot-katsudon:** NO I'M FUCKING MAD

**_*hot-katsudon left the groupchat*_ **

********i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh******** ** ** **t****** ** **:**** YURIO WTF

 **leodelachurch:** daaaaamn son

 **hamster-trash:** stop killing my OTP :'(

 **xXKingJJXx:** it's already dead boi  
R.I.P Viktuuri.

 **xXKingJJXx:** But now we can pay attention to the beautiful King JJ ;)

_* **otabek eliminated xXKingJJXx***_

**Yuri-P:** thank bae

 **icesexual:** OMG

 **Yuri-P:** BRO* I MEANT BRO*  
OMG I'M GOING TO KILL EVERYBODY

 **otabek:** *thumbs up*

 **hamster-trash:** Omg this is going to be so funny my dudes

 **hamster-trash** : also I took like 20000 screenshots of that ;D


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk what to put here lol

 

 

 

**hamster-trash:** day 1152, we still don't know where Yuuri is or if Viktor is alive. Is Viktuuri dead? Probably

**icesexual** : breaking news, Viktor Nikiforov is listening to some sad kazoo music. Also now he is an alcoholic

**icesexual:**  he sent me a photo and i just found 8 empty bottles of vodka

**sinammonroll:** how's he alive?

**hamster-trash:** umm he's russian duh

**hamster-trash:** he can probably drink 12 bottles of vodka and he will be shiny af as always, unlike a certain chinese little shit that with one glass of beer is wasted

**Icesexual:** i thought the little chinese was Yurio's age

**Yuri-P:** my name is not fucking Yurio you piece of shit

**icesexual:** ik "fucking yurio" is not ur name, that's otabek's

**sinammonroll:** Holy shit

**Yuri-P:** ...

**Yuri-P:** what did i do to deserve this shit?

**hamster-trash:** He didn't deny it

**xXKingJJXx:** omg yuri, you are too young 4 that :o

**Yuri-P:** *deep breath* ME AND OTABEK ARE NOT A THING WE ARE MOTHERFUCKING FRIENDS,  
AND WE ARE NOT FUCKING FOR FUCKS SAKE. I'M GONNA BLOCK ALL OF U BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO TALK WITH SOME FUCKBOYS

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night** : Otabek ans Me***

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night:** grsnmar my som

**Yuri-P:** i hope katsudon and you never get married, and fuck you

**_*Yuri-P left the chat*_ **

**hamster-trash:** wow Viktor is not ded

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night:** ofc not i'm jezuz

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night:** a very raaaaaaad jezuuuuuuz uslzsgs

**xXKingJJXx:** he is so drunk

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night:** stfu u camasianan pieve pf sji, om fomr

**xXKingJJXx** : what did he say?

**icesexual:** ik, i speak the drunk language

**ice** **sexual:** stfu u canadian piece of shit, i'm fine

**xXKingJJXx:** rude

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night:** y'know

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night** : i cn toralky live wuthoit tuiro

**Icesexual: "** i can totally live without yuuri"

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night** : he

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night** : uyuri locea nr anueys, gr haa s shur tpn pf lodtera if ne

**icesxual:** "yuuri loves me anyways, he has a shit ton of posters of me"

**sinammonroll:** wow, chris i'm rlly impressed, how do you know what he's saying???

**icesexual** : B'scuse me??? Do you know who I am baby face?

**hamster-trash:** baby face i'm laughing so hard

**leodelachurch:** don't call my baby baby face ok??!?!

**xXKingJJXx:** is everyone here gay?

**leodelachurch:** yeah probably

**icesexual:** my name says everything ;)

**xXKingJJXx:** I feel uncomftable

**hamster-trash:** and i am phonesexual ayyy

**icesexual:** that is so weird my dude

**hamster-trash:** *breath in* bOi, you are actracted to everything and i'm the weird one

**icesexual:** ye

**sinammonroll:** wait DID U CALL ME BABY FACE?!

**xXKingJJXx:** wow you are slow baby face

**sinammonnroll:** lol I am not mad, I love everyone <3

**hamster-trash:** yeah that's true, the little chinese shit can't hate

**sinammonroll:** yeah! :D I'm a fluff ball of happiness and love  <3

_***leodelachurch added wakemeupinside*** _

**leodelachurch:** here's georgi

**_*sinammonroll left the chat*_ **

**hamster-trash:** lol he hates georgi?

**leodelachurch:** ye

**wakemeupinside:** what is this? and what did i do? Why does somebody hate me? wHY DID I DO wrONG oH GOD thIS iS whY anYa left me?!?!

**icesexual:** oh this is the dramatic russian

**hamster-trash:** i just realized there are lots of kinds of russians

**hamster-trash:** like the drunk russian, the edgy russian, the emo russian, the old russian and the lesbian russian

**icesexual:** amazing, nature is wonderful

**xXKingJJXx** : why does baby face hate emo russian???

**leodelachurch:** oh boi here we go

**leodelachurch:** well baby face has fantasies about us

**otabek:** wtf, I thought Guang Hong was decent.

**icesexual:** same, can't believe that little boy is kinky too

**hamster-trash:** biTCH I'M shOOk

**wakemeupinside:** but i only want Anya to have fantasies about me

**leodelachurch:** you didn't let me finish, also Georgi wtf

**leodelachurch:** whatevs, baby face thinks he is a super rad agent and i'm his m8, and georgi is the bad guy, idk why. But he h8s u for that

**xXKingJJXx:** i'm laughing so hard, that is cute but it also sounds like a 12 y/o girl fanfic

**hamster-trash:** lololol, tru.  the little chinese shit is so cute

**leodelachurch:** back off bitch he's mine

**hamster-trash:** come at me BRO, wAnNA fITE M8?!?

**hamster-trash:** lol just kidding, u r my otp, i have like 28 fanfics about u 2

**otabek:** That's weird...

**hamster-trash:** no it isn't!

**hamster-trash:** btw i have like 49 about the edgy russian and u

**otabek:**...

**otabek:** Link?

**xXKingJJXx:** omg i'm dead, did he really asked for the links?!

**icesexual:** stfu, u r just jealous because nobody ships u with yurio anymore

**hamster-trash:** u said it guuurl

**leodelachurch:** ya got burned son

**xXKingJJXx:** wait people ship us???

**hamster-trash:** ye, it's called pliroy

**xXKingJJXx:** that is interesting...

**otabek:** don't you dare

**leodelachurch:** possessive otabek is my aesthetic

**hamster-trash:** same

_***leodelachurch added sinammonroll*** _

 

 

 

**sinammonroll:** is georgi still here???

**wakemeupinside:** don't h8 me pls, i'm a good person  <3

**_*sinnamonroll left the chat*_ **

**leodelachurch:** i kinda feel bad for emo russian

**wakemeupinside:** i will just go and cry on a corner bye

_***wakemeupinside left the chat*** _

**icesexual:** liek if u cri evrtme

**hamster-trash:** #Pray4EmoRussian

**hamster-trash:** now that i think about it... where the fuck is Yuuri?

**xXKingJJXx:** we will never know...

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night:** **[yuurisnudes.png](https://ifunny.co/fun/VLdPHj6Y4?gallery=user&query=CarlCupcake)**

**otabek:**...

**xX KingJJXx:** ...

**leodelachurch:**...

**icesexual:** awww man viktor, that is disappointing! >:(

**icesexual:** that is fucking clickbait

**xXKingJJXx:** did u actually clicked it?

**hamster-trash:** not surprised tho

**icesexual:** those are not nudes, that is kermit the frog

**otabek:** now i can see why Yuuri left you...

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night:** PNF U CSNT VELURBE MT MI SON IN LAE VETRSUED NR!!!

**leodelachurch:** chris do ur thing pls

**icesexual:** omg I can't believe my son in law betrayed me!!!

**icesexual:** in all caps

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night:** i lnoe whst??? Un honma ho dor yuiro

**icesexual:** don't u fucking dare viktor

**hamster-trash:** what did he say?!?! I NEED ANSWERS

**icesexual:** the bitch said: u know what??? im gonna go for yuuri

**xXKingJJXx:** why is that bad?

**otabek:** Why are you so stupid? He is drunk

**leodelachurch:** savagebek is right, viktor can't drive like this

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night** : sjur tje guxk ip i smrerocan oiexe if shot

**icesexual: "** shut the fuck up you american piece of shit" rude

**leodelachurch:** A VER RUSO PENDEJO SOY MEXICANO-AMERICANO MÁS RESPETO PINCHE PENDEJO QUE TE JODAN 

**hamster-trash:** oh no taco language, leo staph

**leodechurch:** ES QUE ME CABREO CARNAL, LE PEGARÉ CON LA PINCHE CHANCLA

**otabek:** I only understood "La Chancla", that is bad.

**xXKingJJXx:** La chancla is scary

**leodelachurch:** y ustedes que vergas van a saber de la chancla pendejos, todavía la siento en la espalda, mi jefa me daba sin compasión.

**hamster-trash:** ok now I didn't understand shit, let's bring baby face back

**_*hamster-trash added sinammonroll*_ **

**hamster-trash:** lil shit, fix ur boyfriend he's talking taco language

**sinammonroll** : 你想要我做什么?? ( _what do u want me to do?)_

**hamster-trash:** really lil shit? i trusted you </3

**leodelachurch:** no le coquetees a mi novio pendejo

**xXKingJJXx:** ok what's happening now

**otabek:** Мен білмеймін, бірақ ол қызық _(i dont know but it is funny)_

**hamster-trash** : c'mon guys, even Otabek is being a lil shit wtf

**otabek** : Егер сіз аз говно болып сізді ебать _(fuck u u are the little shit)_

**hamster-trash:** that was probably an insult thanks <3

**icesexual** : Je me sens excitée _(im horny)_

**hamster-trash:** that sounds sexual

**xXKingJJXx** : it is...

**icesexual:** ;))

**sinammonroll** : 是时候停下来 _(is time to stop)_

**hamster** **-** **trash** : ฉันรู้สึกสับสนดังนั้นฉันจะฆ่าตัวตาย _(I'M SO CONFUSED I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF_ )

**xXKingJJXx** : I'm so proud of me, I'm the only 1 normal ;)

**otabek:** hold on...

**xXKingJJXx:** what?

**otabek:** Who added you again?

**hamster-trash:** holy shit we have a hacker here

**leodelachurch:** BRUJERÍA

**xXKingJJXx:** shit *hacker voice* I was in

**sinammonroll:** how did u hack

**xXKingJJXx** : youtube tutorial r really helpful, especially the ones with 12 y/o kids breathing on the mic

**sinammonroll:** noice

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night** : Я пропускаю Юри!!!!! _(I miss Yuuri!!!!)_

**icesexual:** idk what he said, but i'm glad he's not ded

**leodelachurch:** he's probably ded inside

**icesexual:** ye

_***hamster trash added hot-katsudon*** _

**hot-katsudon:** I just wanted to say...

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night** **:** BABY PLZ FORGIVE ME I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT UUUUU

**hot-katsudon:** stfu i'm talking

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night** **:** k bae

**hamster-trash:** lol

**hot-katsudon:** whatever, I took makkachin and yurio with me, n we r going 2 move 2 Australia

**xXKingJJXx:** omg

**otabek:** Why is he still here?

_***otabek eliminated xXKingJJXx*** _

**hamster-trash:** i love savagebek omg

**_*hamster-trash changed otabek's name to savagebek*_ **

**savagebek:** Thanks?

**hamster-trash:** U r welcome

**sinammonroll:** I'm ded, #savagebek4president

**hot-katsudon:** i like that name for my son in law

**savagebek:** thanks, Mr. Katsuki.

**hot-katsudon:** oh sweetie pls, just Yuuri

_***i-eat-katsudon-every-night added Yuri-P*** _

**Yuri-P:** now what the fuck do u want?!

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night** **:** ARE YOU ACTUALLY MOVING WITH YOUR MOTHER AND THE POODLE TO AUSTRALIA?!

**yuri-p:** wtf no, I'm with my grandpa rn

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night** **:** YUURI DID U LIE 2 ME?!?

**hot-katsudon:** lolol viktor u r so dumb <3 I only left for 45 minutes and came back, I thought u noticed

**yuri-p:** oldman is so stupid lol

**leodelachurch:** I'm literally crying omgg

**sinammonroll:** sameee, this is gold

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night:** Katsuki Yuuri, you are going to need a fucking wheelchair after this night

**hot-katsudon:** wait whathsdoheud2727#

**hamster-trash:** OMFG

**yuri-p:** that is fucking disgusting wtf

**savagebek:** agreed

**icesexual: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )** this is interesting

**sinammonroll: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°** ) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

**hamster-trash: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )  
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

**savagebek: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )**

**yuri-P:** wtf Beka u too?

**savagebek:** sorry i like that face

**icesexual: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )**

**hot-katsudon:** muur lsst wwwoppordaaa yeeeelkl muu nonn iii folloves jjjjrbhheer

**icesexual:** "my last words tell my mom i loved her"

**hamster-trash:** i feel bad for yuuri omg, but i need pictures for my fans owo

**yuri-p:** wtf u r disgusting

**hamster-trash:** goingtorussia.png

**sinammonroll:** bitch u didn't

**hamster-trash:** bitch i did ;)

**yuri-p:** y'all disgust me

**hamster-trash:** yeah yeah, keep saying ur edgy teen lines

**sinammonroll:** so edgy, but we all know yurio is a soft kitten that loves animal print <3

**yuri-p:** stfu, u r 18 and u look like 14

**leodelachurch:** Yurio: 1 - Guang: 0

**sinammonroll:** leo u betrayed me <\3

**hamster-trash:** but yurio is right, u look like a 14 y/o guuuurl

**sinammonroll:** ye and???? Yurio looks like a 15 y/o with anger issues, oh wait, he is one

**leodelachurch:** Yurio: 1 - Guang: 100000

**leodelachurch:** #yagotburnedson

**icesexual:** that was savage, what do u think king savage?

**savagebek:** yeah, it was

**yuri-p:** beka wtf happened to u, I thought you were my bff

**savagebek:** sorry Yura, but you got burned

**yuri-p:** pfft whatever I don't need u

**icesexual:** great another dramatic breakup

**leodelachurch:** this is like watching a telenovela, drama everywhere

**sinammonroll:** tru but we need more screaming n the lost twin of yurio

**icesexual:** wait i know who is his lost twin

**hamster-trash:** who????

**icesexual:[yuriplisetsky2.0.png](https://ifunny.co/fun/xbtSli6Y4?gallery=user&query=CarlCupcake)**

**sinammonroll:** OMG IS THAT ARMIN?!

**icesexual:** yeah boi

**leodelachurch:** nonono wait this one is definetly his twin

**leodelachurch:[yuriplisetsky3.png](https://ifunny.co/fun/qE4b0j6Y4?gallery=user&query=CarlCupcake)**

**sinammonroll:** hell yeah, akira is his twin lol

**savagebek:** why didn't you tell me Yura??

**yuri-p:**... fuck you all

**hamster-trash:** you know you love us <3

**yuri-p:** no. I hate u all

**savagebek:** that is a lie :)

**yuri-p:** shut up...

**leodelachurch:** #yurioistsundereaf2k17

**hamster-trash:** omg yes

**yuri-p:** you like to watch me suffer, don't u?? Fuckers

**icesexual:** yeah, is funny to annoy edgy teens :D

**yuri-p:** just go fuck yourself

**icesexual:** i would if i could ;)

**hamster-trash:** saw that coming

**icesexual:** just like I did on the ice ;)))

**hamster-trash:** yup, that one too

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay another shitty chapter :D/
> 
> Fyi, all the things in another language, I used google translate, so I don't know if they are 100% accurate lol
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3 :v


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phichit is in Russia!  
> But he does not know where he is
> 
>  
> 
> This going to be bad as always

 

   


 

   


  
**hamster-trash:** ok bitches so I'm in Russia, but I don't know where the fuck Yuuri lives

**yuri-P** : great job fucker

**hamster-trash** : stfu angsty shit, do u know where they live???

**yu** **ri-P:** of course i do, but ain't gonna tell you bitch

**hamster-trash:** little bitch, I will find u n I will kill u m8

**yuri-P:** u will never find me

**leodelachurch:** lol, phichit where r you exactly?

**hamster-trash:** idk, there is a starbucks here, but is empty, and next to the starbucks there is some people screaming in russian? I'm scared

**yuri-p:** wait, you are near a stabucks?

**hamster-trash:** ye, y???

**hamster-trash:** all i see in that starbucks is that there is an emo barista and like 3 people, one of them is a blonde little shit that looks like Yurio

**hamster-trash:** oh shit he's yurio, I FOUND U LITTLE SHIT

**yuri-p:** SHIT GET AWAY FROM ME PHISHIT

**leodelachurch:** omg this is hilarious

**sinammonroll:** sup, what did i miss???

**leodelachurch:** just read it

**sinammonroll:** but I'm lazy ~(-_-)~

**leodelachurch:** too bad baby face <3

**yuri-p:** burnphishitburn.png

**leodelachurch:** did you really throw coffe at phichit?!

**yuri-p:** of course i did, now he is crying on the floor

**yuri-p:** this is funny

**leodelachurch:** holy shit dude, u r scary

**yuri-p:** i know

**icesexual:** he's still a cute fairy tho

**sinammonroll:** agreed

**yuri-p:** fuck u both

**yuri-p:** shit what should i do, the bitch called the cops

**sinammonroll:** really?!

**yuri-p:** yeah no shit baby face

**hamster-trash:** YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL LITTLE ANGSTY TEEN, MY BEAUTIFUL FACE IS RUINED WITH COFFEE

**leodelachurch:** hehe... beautiful hehe

**hamster-trash:** stfu mr. Thick eyebrows

**sinammonroll:** i love his T H I C C eyebrows, that is what makes him HAWT no homo <3

**leodelachurch:** <3

**icesexual:** u know what else is  T H I C C???  ;)))

**hamster-trash:** chris no

**icesexual:** why??? I was going to say my eyelashes :(

**hamster-trash:** oh ok, yeah, ur eyelashes are pretty big

**icesexual:** just like my ass ;)

**sinammonroll:** chris why

**icesexual:** because I can ;)))

**savagebek:** Chris please, there is a child here

**icesexual:** oh right, my bad, i forget we have an angsty teen on this groupchat

**yuri-p:** beka did u just assumed I am a child?!?

**savagebek:** no, I didn't assume it

**savagebek** : you are one

   


   


   


**hamster-trash:** HAPPY FEET WOMBO COMBO

**sinammonroll:** THAT AIN'T FALCO

**leodelachurch:** that ain't fal- oh oh oHHHHHHOHHHHHOHHHHHHOOOOOIH

**icesexual** : OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OHHH WHERE U AT OHHHH OOOOOOOOOH

**sinammonroll:** OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooOoooOOOOoooOoooOoOo

**leodelachurch:** GET UR ASS WHOOPED

**hamster-trash:** WOMBO COMBOOOOOO

**icesexual:** m y d i c k h u r t s

**hamster-trash:** man i love savagebek so much

**yuri-p:** that was completly fucking unnecessary and I fucking hate savagebek

**savagebek:** Lies~

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night:** just as unnecessary as those curses

**icesexual:** wow daddy nikiforov to the rescue

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night:** pls never call me that again

**sinammonroll:** that was disturbing

**icesexual:** also, how's Yuuri?

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night:** y'know he be lookin damn fineeee

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night;** i mean... he is next to me rn, he can't walk... or sit down... and we might be at the hospital...

**hamster-trash:** omg wtf did you do

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night:** let's say I keep my promises...

**yuri-p:** that is fucking disgusting

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night:** stop fuCKING SWEARING

**savagebek:** wow, what a great way to teach your child

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night** : shut up, you are my son in law and you are going to respect me

**yuri-p:** i'm so done

**yuri-p:** OH SHIT THE POLICE

**hamster-trash:** HA HA LITTLE SHIT YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL

**hamster-trash:** yuriogoingtojailandmelaughing.png

**leodelachurch:** that is gold, i love how yurio is doing a pterodactyl screech and you are smiling on the floor like the biacht you are lol

**hamster-trash:** i know lol

**sinammonroll:** wait, isn't he 15??

**hamster-trash:** yeah

**sinammonroll:** and how is he going to jail??

**hamster-trash:** idk there is no logic here lol

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night** **:** i can't believe my son is going to jail, WHAT DID I DO WRONG?!

**savagebek:** well, he is not your son, and all you do is annoy him

**icesexual:** get a man like savagebek <3

**i-eat-katsudon-every-night** : yeah, you right otabek, sorry for being a bad father in law ;-;

**savagebek:** whatever, where is yura?

**hamster-trash:** the police just left lol

**savagebek:** oh my... i'm going to russia too

**sinammonroll:** OMG REALLY?! LEOOOO BE LIKE OTABEK AND COME TO CHINA FOR ME RN

**leodelachurch** : yet another unrealistic expectation for men

**savagebek:** phichit were are you exactly?

**hamster-trash:** uh well, i don't know honestly everything is in russian and i don't understand shit

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** **t:** what do you see from there?

**hamster-trash:** People sing royal anthem, Your majesty...

**hamster-trash:** ok sorry sorry, it was the perfect moment

**savagebek:** no it wasn't

**hamster-trash:** stfu it was, whatever, again, there is some people screaming in russian, I'm next to the starbucks, and now there is some people breakdancing, any ideas?

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** **t:** nope, i don't know where the hell are you

**hamster-trash:** wait... how do you spell Viktor Nikiforov in Russian??

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** t: Виктор Никифоро, why?

**hamster-trash:** oh god...

**icesexual:** what? What happend???

**hamster-trash:** there is a street with Viktor's name...

**leodelachurch:** omg you are kidding right?

**hamster-trash:** no i'm not

**hamster-trash:** icantbelievethisshit.png

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** **t:** oh! So you are on my street! To go to the hospital you just have togo straight on until you see an old man awfully singing

**hamster-trash:** noice

**savagebek:** so i have to go to a street named after Viktor?

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** **t:** oh no sweetie, the jail is on the makkachin street.

**savagebek:** there is also a street named after your poodle?!?

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** t: of course! Also they are going to rename a street that is full of restaurants after Yuuri~

**leodelachurch:** i can't believe this...

**sinnamonroll:** i want to be that famous too~ China just gives me a chocolate bar and a piece of paper with a monkey that says: "git gud"

**icesexual:** that is pretty cool tho, they don't give me anything.

**savagebek:** the goverment gives me a small loan of 1 million dollars

**hamster-trash:**?!?!?!?!

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** **t:** wow! Amazing! My son in law is a rich man~

**savagebek:** actually no, i have to pay a lot for the things Yura breaks when he comes here

**hamster-trash:**?!?!?!?! YURI GOES TO YOUR PLACE?! TO KAZAKHSTAN!?!?!?!?

**savagebek:** yeah, sometimes, he stays for a week and we chill

**icesexual:** wait but chill chill or netflix and chill?!

**leodelachurch:** damn savagebek

**savagebek:** just chill wtf, he is 15 remember you dingus

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** **t:** when yuri turns 18, you are so gonna get marry, please~ I beg you, I can give you a goat if you want :D

**savagebek:** why would I need a goat??

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** **t:** idk, but Yuuri says he can give you a pig

**savagebek:** no comments

**sinammonroll:** he didn't deny it~ heh

**savagebek** : whatever i am on my way to the airport, so i will turn off my phone, bye.

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** **t:** amazing!~ so, phichit did u find the hospital?

**hamster-trash:** I'm on my way, i still can't see the old man

**icesexual:** you can't see Viktor?

**leodelachurch:** damn, another burn

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** **t:** wow, how original Chris, congratulations on being a little bitch

**icesexual:** shut up, you are just jealous because we are younger

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** t: yeah yeah sure

**hamster-trash:** yuuriisonawheelchairimwheezing.png

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** **t:** so you arrived

**leodelachurch:** yuuri looks in pain

**hot-katsudon:** because I'm

**icesexual:** poor Yuuri #Pray4Yuuri'sButt

**sinammonroll:** yuuri, I'm so sorry for the tragic death of your butt

**hot-katsudon:** ha ha HA veeeeeery funny guys.

**hot-katsudon:** i can't feel my lower body, I'm going to kill Viktor after this

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** **t:** you know you love me! <3 You will never kill me <3

**hot-katsudon:** last night was awful

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** **t:** you didn't say that yesterday ;)

**leodelachurch:** ho boi this is getting akward

**sinammonroll:** Yeah, let's change the subjet

**icesexual:** i want to know what happened last night with details >:(

**hot-katsudon:** NO.

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** **t:** yeah, i will totally not tell you via inbox, Chris ;) *wink wonk*

**hot-katsudon:** you little

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** **t:** :*

**hamster-trash:** damn, I am always the third wheel, first Leo and Guang and now you two *cries*

**icesexual:** i feel you bro, we should go out ;)

**hamster-trash:** no thanks, I want to walk

**icesexual:** ok little dude, I have a boyfriend anyway, he just doesn't know yet!

**leodelachurch:** wtf...

**hot-katsudon:** i'm surprised that didn't surprise me tbh

**hamster-trash:** oh! Is he the guy that is always with you?

**icesexual:** yes~ he is so in love with me, but he doesn't wants to admit it

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** **t:** poor man, what is his name?

**icesexual:** his name is Jugemujugemugokonosurikirekaijarisuigyonosuigyomatsuunraimatsufuraimatsukunerutokoronisumutokoroyaburakojinoburakojipaipopaipopaiponoshuringanshuringannogurindaigurindainoponpokopinoponpokonanochokyumeinochosuke.

**icesexual:** but we call him Jon :)

**sinammonroll:** wow, that is a long name

**hot-katsudon:** what a coincidence, my grandpa'a name was Jugemujugemugokonosurikirekaijarisuigyonosuigyomatsuunraimatsufuraimatsukunerutokoronisumutokoroyaburakojinoburakojipaipopaipopaiponoshuringanshuringannogurindaigurindainoponpokopinoponpokonanochokyumeinochosuke too!

**icesexual:** that is great! Is a beautiful name tho.

**hot-katsudon:** yeah, that will be our baby's name, right Viktor?

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** t **:** what? Baby? When did we talked about talk?

**hot-katsudon:** i decided it now <3 we will adopt 29 children!

**hamster-trash:** omg yes

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** **t:** don't you think it a little early for that?

**hot-katsudon:** yeah... well, let's get married soon and then we can asopt a lot of babies! :D

**leodelachurch:** I can feel Viktor's pain lol

**i-eat-katsudon-every-nigh** **t:** i'm going to die

**xXKingJJXx:** yes you are

**hamster-trash:** OH GOD HACKER ALERT WEE WOO WEE WOO

**xXKingJKXx:** I just want to be loved D:

**hot-katsudon:** k whatevs, the doctor is calling us, I'm going to suffer

**xXKingJJXx:** what happen???

**icesexual:** long story

**xXKingJJXx:** I like long stories :D

**icesexual:** no f u, i'm to lazy for that

**xXKingJJXx:** why does everybody hates me?! D:

**leodelachurch:** u r dumb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late update! I'm on my summer break and I've been in places with no internet lol
> 
> Also the next update will take some time too because of the same reason :u
> 
> Thanks for reading! ;♡;


End file.
